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  #1  
Old 09-02-2009, 11:06 PM
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StitchMayhem StitchMayhem is offline
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My Life Is Random!

I came up with this story while I was bored. Tell me if you like it. EDIT: Lol, I just noticed, It's starting to turn into an adventure for a box of Cheese-Its.
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Episode 1: Camel.

I walked into the Super Market to buy some food, because you know, that's what you do at a Super Market. So anyway, I walk into the Cheese-It isle when I suddenly see a Camel! Then I'm like "Why is there a Camel in the Cheese-It isle?" Then the Camel said "Nah ah ah!" Then the Camel turns into a box of Cheese-Its. Then i'm like "OMG! TALKING CHEESE-ITS!" Then the box of Cheese-Its says "Nah ah ah!" Then the box of Cheese Its turns into Eddie Murphy. Then i'm like "OMG! Eddie Murphy can turn into a Camel!?" Then Eddie Murphy says "Nah ah ah!" Then Eddie Murphy turns into Megan Jet Martin. Then i'm like. "OMG! Megan Jet Martin!" Then Megan Jet Martin says "Nah ah ah!" Then Megan Jet Martin turns into MEGAN JET MARTIN FROM THE FUTURE. Then i'm like "OMG! Megan Jet Martin from the future! What's the future like!?" Then she says "Well by the end of this sentence your going to get hit over the head with a hammer by some kid dressed up as Optimus Prime calling you a Headless Lemming" Then a kid dressed as Optimus Prime comes to me and hits me over the head with a hammer and calls me a Headless Lemming. I was then knocked out and in the hospital.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Episode 2: Fridge.

(Sorry if this episode took a while, i'm having to use an INCREDIBLY SLOW Windows 98 for the weekend...)

I wake up from my hospital bed and shout out "I'M ALIVE!" Then right next to me is a fridge. I go to the fridge to get the Cheese-Its I hopefully still had, but the fridge door wouldn't open! I try doing everything I can to open it, BUT NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN!! I try getting Mario to fix it, BUT HE COULDN'T FIX IT! I try getting Sonic The Hedgehog to fix it, BUT HE COULDN'T FIX IT! I try getting Larry The Cable Guy to fix it, BUT HE COULDN'T FIX IT! I try getting Chewbacca to fix it, BUT HE COULDN'T FIX IT! I try getting Mario to fix it again, BUT HE STILL COULDN'T FIX IT! I try getting the Honda Man to fi... wait, who's the Honda Man? I try getting Optimus Prime to fix it, BUT HE COULDN'T FIX IT! I try getting the Fonz to fix it, BUT HE SAYS HE CAN ONLY FIX CARS AND JUKEBOXES! I try getting a fridge to fix it, AND THEN HE USES THE FORCE, GIVEN TO HIM BY DARTH VADER AFTER HE BEAT HIM IN A LIGHTSABER DUEL AFTER THE FRIDGE TOLD DARTH VADER THAT HE, THE FRIDGE WAS HIS FATHER! THE FRIDGE THEN FIXES THE BROKEN FRIDGE AND THEN OPENS THE FRIDGE DOOR FOR ME TO FIND OUT... ThAt My StInKiNg ChEeSe-ItS aReN't In ThErE!!! SO I HAVE TO GET MYSELF OUT OF THE HOSPITAL EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT READY TO BE RELEASED YET AND GET YET ANOTHER BOX OF CHEESE-ITS!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Episode 3: Michael Eisner.

So I walk out of my Hospital room and go into the elevator, where I see Michael Eisner. He then comes up to me and says in a Golem type voice "GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY!!!" I then say "I know! The weather today is beautiful and whaaaaaaat?" Michael Eisner then puts a giant box of Cheese-Its infront of me. He says "You can have this if you give me all of your money so we can make a sequel to Dadnapped." I then said "NOOOO!!!! DADNAPPED IS THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN!!! WHY WOULD I HELP YOU MAKE A SEQUEL TO IT?!?!" He then takes a person out of his pocket. IT WAS THE KID DRESSED UP AS OPTIMUS PRIME THAT HIT ME OVER THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER AND CALLED ME A HEADLESS LEMMING! He was there holding a Metal Meat Tenderizer. Then I said "Oh goodness he's gonna get me!!!!" He then tried to hit me with the Metal Meat Hammer, but he missed and it hit the elevator door. I then ran out as fast as I could when the song starts playing as Michael Eisner, The crazy kid dressed as Optimus Prime with the hammer (let's just call him George.) and I are running to try and find, or avoid each other. I then find the exit door to the hospital. I run out when Michael Eisner and George are chasing me. Michael Eisner then says "YOU CAN'T RUN FROM ME FOREVER! YOU'LL BE IN DISNEY WORLD SOON! YOU HAVE DINNER RESERVATIONS FOR THE CRYSTAL PALACE! I KNOW YOU DO!" I then find my car in the parking lot, I enter my car and drive off. When suddenly Michael Eisner, George, and the Police are chasing me. Michael Eisner says "I'M SO MAD NOW THAT TICKET PRICES ARE GOING FROM $70 TO $100" George says "DESTROY! build. DESTROY!" The Police say "You got out of the Hospital to early! You have to pay a $400 fine now!"
Then I say "AlL i WaNt ArE sOmE sTiNkInG cHeEsE iTs! Is ThAt To MuCh To AsK fOr?"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Episode 4: GPS Fight.

So i'm running for my life from Michael Eisner, a crazy Kid named George, and The Police. I turn my GPS on for the nearest shortcut. I say "GPS! Take me to the nearest shortcut!" The GPS doesn't respond. Then I say "COME ON GPS! HELP ME OUT HERE! A MONEY OBSESSED THEME PARK MANAGER, A KID IN AN OPTIMUS PRIME SUIT WITH A MEAT HAMMER AND THE NYPD ARE AFTER ME! I NEED HELP!" The GPS then says "What's the magic word?" Then I say "OK! GPS, PLEASE TAKE ME TO THE NEAREST SHORTCUT!" The GPS then says "Say it nicely." Then I say "OH COME ON!" Then the GPS says " I guess you want to get smushed by a kid wearing a Halloween costume with a hammer." I then say "Ok. GPS, Please take me to the nearest shortcut." The GPS then says "Make me!" Then I said "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?" The GPS then says "Shut up." Then I said "No, you shut up." then it went ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON! Until I found out I bought a GPS from Queens. I then threw it out the window and went to Best Buy to get a new one... BUT NOW I MUST WAIT IN THE LONGEST LINE ON THE PLANET! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Episode 5: The Time Traveling Watch.

So i'm STILL WAITING IN LINE when Michael Eisner, George, and the NYPD are trying to find me. But luckily i'm in a part of the line that has a giant wall covering half of it, so I might be safe for a while. So I just sat there and waited for the line to move. I looked at my watch and realized it's set to the incorrect time. So I set it 1 Hour ahead, AND THEN THE LINE STARTS TO MOVE! INFACT, IT'S ALMOST MY TURN! Then I say "HOW CAN THAT HAPPEN!?" Then suddenly, a UFO comes crashing into Best Buy, then I see a group of people step out of the UFO. IT WAS BLINK-182 AND BLUR! Then I say "This isn't worth the wait if those two bands are here, I'M LEAVING!" Then Blink-182 and Blur say "WHAT DID YOU SAY!?" So.... I'm now running for my life from MICHAEL EISNER, GEORGE, THE NYPD, BLINK-182, AND BLUR. I then got in my car and drove off as fast as possible to try to get all the way to a state were they can't find me, and all of civilization is living in a mountain not caring about a thing. NORTH CAROLINA! But then I think it over and say "I shouldn't hide there, It's on the way to Disney World." So Florida and California are also out of the question. So I sit there thinking and say "HEY WAIT! I'LL USE MY TIME TRAVELING WATCH TO GO INTO THE FUTURE SO I KNOW WHERE I'LL GO!" Then I'm 5 minutes in the future and shout out "I KNOW! I'LL HIDE IN NEW JERSEY! NOBODY EVER GOES THERE!" Except Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, Blondie, Patti Smith, The Bongos, The Smithereens, Frank Sinatra, The Misfits. Pretty much just bands. BUT STILL NOT EXTREMELY POPULATED!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Episode 6: The Gas Station Of PERIL!

So i'm driving up to New Jersey when I find out my gas tank is low, I then say "GPS, Please direct me to the nearest gas station!" There was no response. I just remembered, I THREW MY GPS OUT THE WINDOW OF MY CAR WHEN I WAS IN NEW YORK!!! Then I say "Ok, no pressure, i'll just find a gas station myself." *2 seconds later* "THIS IS HOPELESS!!! I'LL NEVER FIND A GAS STATION!!" *picks up a piece of paper and a pen* "MY LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT, I LEAVE MY NINTENDO DS TO MY SISTER, MY LILO AND STITCH DOLL COLLECTION TO PAUL McCARTNEY, ALL OF MY SMASHING PUMPKINS ALBUMS TO THE GHOSTBUSTERS, MY PIKACHU HAT TO BILLY CORGAN, ALL OF MY SUPER MARIO BROTHERS GAMES TO SONIC THE HEDGEHO.... oh there's a gas station...." While putting my will away for when I DO perish I enter the gas station to find out that MICHAEL EISNER AND GEORGE ARE THERE! Then I say "Ok, no pressure, i'll just find a way to avoid them myself." *2 seconds later* "THIS IS HOPELESS!!! I'LL NEVER AVOID THEM!!" *picks up a piece of pape... wait a minute...* "I'm not doing that again, however this time I really could perish...." So I look in my car for some weird disguise, then I find a pair of glasses! "THEY'LL NEVER FIND ME IN THIS DISGUISE!" I walk out of the car with these glasses on and then Michael Eisner and George notice me.... Great.... Then I see The NYPD for some reason EVEN THOUGH WE'RE IN NEW JERSEY!!! Blur and Blink-182 come out of the terrible gas station gift shop with donuts. Then I say "Hey, can everybody hold on for a minute?" Everyone agrees. I then enter the gas station gift shop and buy some Cheese-Its, I eat them and then throw the box away. then I stand doing nothing for 10 seconds. *clock ticking* George *_* attack, Michael $_$ money, Blur ^_^ giggle, Blink-182 ^_^ giggle, NYPD "MOVE IT ALREADY, YOUR LOITERING!!!!" I then run for my life into my car and drive off hoping I don't get attacked.
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To Be Continued

WILL I EVER ESCAPE THESE CRAZY PEOPLE TRYING TO GET ME FOR NO REASON? WILL SONIC THE HEDGEHOG EVER GET MY MARIO BROTHERS GAMES? *Sonic* "NO THANK YOU!!!" FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER ON SATURDAY!!!

P.S. These moments never really happened to me.

Last edited by DeputyRR; 09-21-2009 at 03:03 AM.. Reason: non-g
  #2  
Old 09-02-2009, 11:32 PM
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Sly cooper Sly cooper is offline
A Key... blade?
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Err... a bit random... but, I'll wait a little while to rate it.
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  #3  
Old 09-02-2009, 11:47 PM
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StitchMayhem StitchMayhem is offline
VMK's gone, get over it..
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Oh don't worry.


IT GETS MORE RANDOM!

Last edited by StitchMayhem; 09-04-2009 at 10:38 PM.. Reason: I put an apostrophe in Gets, I'm an idiot.
  #4  
Old 09-04-2009, 10:30 PM
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xoop xoop is offline
blehh♥♥
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WHOAH! BESTEST STORY EVER! PLEASE GET IT MORE RANDOM THOUGH! Zwagga that's amazing!
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  #5  
Old 09-04-2009, 10:37 PM
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StitchMayhem StitchMayhem is offline
VMK's gone, get over it..
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StitchMayhem is spinning in a Cursed Storm
Don't worry xoop, I already have 5 more chapters planned out and ready.

I'm making my next chapter tonight!

Oh, and don't worry.

IT GETS MORE RANDOM!
  #6  
Old 09-05-2009, 04:49 AM
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Bobray Bobray is offline
Go Donald Duck!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wow, this is extremely random, yet amusing! I can't stop reading it! Chapter 3! Chapter 3!
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  #7  
Old 09-07-2009, 12:24 AM
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daizyduke daizyduke is offline
i knit sweaters, yo.
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bwahahaha. this is the most amusing story everrrr.
write more.(:
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  #8  
Old 09-07-2009, 02:37 AM
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Dizney_Princess Dizney_Princess is offline
♥vίvίαη/∂ι♥
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LOL
hahaha this is an awesome amuseing story xD
moree!!
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  #9  
Old 09-07-2009, 05:18 PM
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StitchMayhem StitchMayhem is offline
VMK's gone, get over it..
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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StitchMayhem is spinning in a Cursed Storm
Everybody, I'm sorry that chapter 3 was not released Yesterday. Like I said, i'm having to use one of the slowest Windows 98 computers i've ever seen for the weekend, and it's running on Dial-Up.....

Dial-Up wasn't working yesterday so I was unable to release a new chapter to this story, but tomorrow September 8th, I will make it up to you all and release TWO NEW CHAPTERS!

But until then, expect chapters 3 and 4 to come out soon.

BECAUSE THEY GET MORE RANDOM!
  #10  
Old 09-14-2009, 12:21 AM
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StitchMayhem StitchMayhem is offline
VMK's gone, get over it..
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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StitchMayhem is spinning in a Cursed Storm
Just for everybodys notice, I'm making 2 new chapters every 4 days.

It's just so it's easier on me.
  #11  
Old 09-20-2009, 04:25 PM
canogon canogon is offline
Registered+

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ROFL this is SO funny! randomness lvls crash!!!
  #12  
Old 09-20-2009, 06:00 PM
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StitchMayhem StitchMayhem is offline
VMK's gone, get over it..
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Join Date: Oct 2007
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StitchMayhem is spinning in a Cursed Storm
I'm now releasing new episodes every saturday.

Every two days is starting to get a little extreme.
 

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