Telemarketers

[theastroA]

When they call, I usually breath really deeply and say nothing until they hang up, or I'll say in a creepy voice, "You have seven days." I'll change it up if something funny comes to mind, but I like those the most.

Originally Posted by flowergirlbecca

Or try this. Hello this is pizza hut can I take your order?

I've done that twice. It doesn't work most of the time. =P

Originally Posted by Eviie

Oh look at my little thing i always do

Me: Hello welcome to billy bob's onion factory how may i help yall today?
Telemarketer: Im looking for <parents name> are they available on this sunny day
Me: No but hairy mo and aunt toothpick are will you like to speak to dem!?
Telemarketer: Yes please if they are in charge at the moment then please put them on
Me: Sure coming right up *Yells "Hairy mo get de phone"* *changes voice* Hello diz is hairy mo` speakin how may i help you today in billy bob's onion factory
Telemarketer: I would like to speak to <parents name>
Me: They are out of town picking up so fresh onions for my grand baby's factory would you like to leave a message?
Telemarketer: Well can you please tell them to call me at 1800 555 5555 ext 1234
Me: Sure thing! Will you like some onions with that?
Telemarketer: *has frustrated voice* Bye!
Me: No onions? you gon` make me cry can you at least buy a small box
Telemarketer: Whatever yea just leave a message in the ext.
Me: Yay thanks for shopping at Billy bob's onion factory come again!!

HAHAHA It works every time! Its fun

I bursted into laughter half way through that! Genius!

Originally Posted by GBShorts

Well first thing I have to say is that you can get on the do not call registry and avoid telemarketers...but before I got on the list here are some of the things I did:

1. telemarketer: is __________ there?
me: uh, i'm sorry *sniffle* he/she died last Tuesday...we are currently making funeral arrangements for them but it's rather hard since they were lost at sea...
telemarketer: click

2. Telemarketer: Hi, is __________ there?
me: no
telemarketer: Okay. Are you over 18?
me: no (a lie)
Telemarketer: click

3. Telemarketer: Hi, I have this great offer I'd like to...
Me: Hi, I'd like to order 3 large pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese.
Telemarketer: o_O
me: When will it be ready?
Telemarketer: ... Hi, I have this grea offer I'd like to...
me: So you mean the pizzas are two for one? Great! give me four instead.
Telemarketer: ... click

4. The best is when they call and survey you. I recently had a survey on a credit card I haven't used in 2 years. I answered NO to every question. even the ones like "do you own a home" or "have you ever used a credit card" :P

I love confusing people.

Funneh! I like the funeral one!

Originally Posted by TikiRoom

I have Caller I.D. so when there is a number we don't know, I don't answer it.

I have caller I.D. too, but I answer anyway. If it's someone trying to sell something, I'll call my sisters over to help me out. So much fun.

Originally Posted by Iwanna_GoTo_Disneyland

`ey!! I got some!! =)


1) Talk really fast.

2) Make up your own language. Speak it.

3) Make up a one word language. Speak it.

4) Turn on the TV. Change the channel to one that only gets static. Turn the volume up really loud. Say that you can't hear them over the static.

5) Say, "This phone line is for emergency use only. Do you have an emergency?" If they say "Yes" say, "Please state the nature of the emergency." Then insist that their emergency isn't an emergency.If they say "No" say, "I'm sorry but this line is for emergencies only."

6) Pretend that you are a hostage negotiator, and try to get the telemarketer to release the hostages.

7) Order a large pepperoni pizza, some garlic bread, and a meatball sub.

8) Repeatedly dial the phone. Mutter that it isn't ringing.

9) Communicate only through Morse code.

10) Talk to the telemarketer. During the conversation dial the phone, and ask for Bill. Do this repeatedly.

11) Try to sell the telemarketer something.

12) Pretend to be an escaped mental patient. Mutter things like, "They'll never catch me again," "No! Not the jacket! No, no, no!" After saying one of these mutter incoherently.

13) Make him/her sing to get a sale.If a male sings, claim that he sounds like Britney Spears.If a female sings, claim that she sounds like Barry White.

14) Pretend to be really interested. Then say, "No."

15) Say nothing until he/she hangs up.

16) Ask the telemarketer for his/her home phone number.Claim that you need some time to think, and that you'll get back to them.

17) Say, "Yes" to whatever they are selling and hang up immediately afterwards.

I am definatly going to try that next time.

[Tibby]

i was at home and my mom was with me,, she was playing vmk
and the phone rang and i picked it up and these people called us before
it was more movie reviews and stuff.
so i answered-
me- hello?
tm- hi i am a representative from the --- whatever movie center and i was wondering if i can ask you a few questions?
me- no thanks bye
tm- no! that wasnt a question. how long ago has it been since you saw a movie?
me- no thanks bye
tm- please answer the question
me- bye
tm- wait answer a few more!
me- uh...
tm- questions questions
me- no... no... no...
tm- okay thanks!
me- bye.

and so you know this was a guy.. a very very feminine guy...

[larkija]

Originally Posted by larkija

Oooh! I got one!

T=Telemarketer
M=Me

T=Hello, I would like to interest you in [SOAP].
M=OK. -rush to my room to get singing hamster-
T=I would like to ask you a couple questions, first.
H=Hit the motor running, driving down the highway!
T=Excuse me?
H=Born to be wild!
T=Who is this?
H=Born to be wild!
T=Hello?

If this doesn't work, I'll put this up to the Llama song to my computer.

Ooh! I got another one!

M=Me (Australian Acsent)
T=Telemarketer

T=Hello!
M='ello!
T=Would you be interested in [CHEESE]?
M=Mmm! I'd like loads of it! I just have to fit in my didgeridoo and my kangaroo!
T=Pardon?
M=Nah, I'm not from Paris! I'm in the outback of Australia!
T=Um...
M=Crickey! Its a koala! Come on, Chip! Let's go catch 'im!
T=...Chip?
M=Hey, after this, let's head on to Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakit anatahu Mountain!
T=Um, I'm sorry. Goodbye.

(PSST! Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakit anatahu is a real mountain.)

[acefredfred]

Originally Posted by larkija

Ooh! I got another one!

M=Me (Australian Acsent)
T=Telemarketer

T=Hello!
M='ello!
T=Would you be interested in [CHEESE]?
M=Mmm! I'd like loads of it! I just have to fit in my didgeridoo and my kangaroo!
T=Pardon?
M=Nah, I'm not from Paris! I'm in the outback of Australia!
T=Um...
M=Crickey! Its a koala! Come on, Chip! Let's go catch 'im!
T=...Chip?
M=Hey, after this, let's head on to Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakit anatahu Mountain!
T=Um, I'm sorry. Goodbye.

(PSST! Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakit anatahu is a real mountain.)

OMG OMG OMG Lol That was funny ecspeccially the mountain. How do you pronounce that?