This sounds like an interesting story; but may I make a suggestion?
When you are typing, you should place quotations on their own line, instead of continuing the sentence:
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Ex:
"Let-let me go." She said in a weak tiny voice.
"Dear, dear, who do we got here?" said the cold raspy old voice. Alison looked up and noticed the woman looked 99 years old with white hair...
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See the difference? It makes it easier to read.
Besides that, once again, I would like to see more.
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alyss of wonderland?
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