Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they find themselves in
financial
trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they
need
to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a distant town so they can
breed
their own stock.

They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her
sister,
"When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to
drive
out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides
she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no
less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office,
and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've
bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup
truck
and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator say he'll be glad to help her, then adds,
"It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1.00 left.
She realizes she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a
few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her
the word, "comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know you want
her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul
that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll
read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bul.

lol that is soo funny :D

ROFL! That was hilarious! I wish more people would look.

LOL!! hilarous

ROFL i Love That! :D

LOL, funny story, more I say! More!

A lot of these I get in some various e-mails. Give me a few more days and there will be about 3 more funny stories! :D

lol thats pretty funny :p

lol thats pretty funny :p
Thanks. (Too short)

really really funny

i have some
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who attempted to drive to EuroDisney?
A: She saw a sign saying: "EuroDisney Left" so she went home.


Did you hear about the blonde who put under Education on her job application, 'Hooked On Phonics'...


Q: What did the blonde girl name her pet Zebra?
A: Spot.


Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK".


Q: What does a blonde Owl say?
A: What, what?


Q: What do you see when you look directly into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.


Q: What did the Dumb Blonde do when she went to a film that had an NC-17 (no under 17's) rating? A: Went home and got 16 friends.


Q: What do you call a blond behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.


Q: How do you tell if a blonde writes Mysteries?
A: She's got a checkbook.


Q: How can you tell a FAX has been sent from a blonde?
A: There's a stamp on it.

Q: Why did the blonde have to drink a hot pepsi?
A: Because she couldn't fit any ice into the bottle.


Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

Did you hear about the blonde who hijacked a submarine?She demanded $200,000 and a parachute.

"I wish I can become really smart and find a way off this island". POOF! The redhead immediatly build a boat out of twigs and vines and sailed off the island. The brunette then approached the genie and said "I wish to be even smarter than the redhead and find a way off the island". POOF! She started to collect rocks and seashells and made a airplane and flew right off the island. Now very excited, the blonde said to the genie "I want to be even smarter than those two and find a way off this island. POOF! The blonde turned into a man and walked across the bridge.

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? "Oh look, donut seeds."

A Blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out. When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said:"there's no fish in there". So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there. So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there. So she looks up and see's a man looking down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" So the man cooly says "Well first of all this is a hockey rink and you're going to have to pay for those holes.

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

A blonde was woken up in the middle of the night to find her house alight. So she went straight to the phone and called 911. When they asked how do you we get to your house, she said "Duh...in the big red truck!"

Why do blonde woman use electric lawnmower's? So they can use the cord to find ther way back!!!!!

How do you regonize a blonde in school?
They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board.

The blonde couldn't call 911 because she couldn't find the 11 button on the phone.

The blonde couldn't work at the pharmaceutical company because she couldn't fit the bottles in the typewriter.

The blonde got burnt bobbing for french fries.

The blonde couldn't go water skiing because she couldn't find a lake with a slope on it.

The blonde thought the capital of California was "C".

The blonde returned a scarf because she thought it was too tight.

The blonde tore off the side of her house that had a fireplace, and blew up her neighbors house because her gas fireplace wouldn't work.

The blonde asked for illegal drugs at the salvation army,the state prison, and at the hospital.

The blonde asked for directions to her neighbors house.

The blonde robbed a blind pauper because he looked like Bill Gates.



The blonde went to Italy to see if she could buy the "lovely boot" she saw on the map

WHAT DO U CALL A BLONDE SKELETON IN A CLOSET?
LAST YEARS HIDE AND GO SEEK WINNER.

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.Her boss concerned about all his employees well being asked sympathetically,"What's the matter?" To which she replies..."Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss feeling very sorry at this point explains to the young girl,"Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy just take the day off to relax and rest."The blonde very calmly states..."No..I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual..."If you need anything just let me know." Well...a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde...he looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!!! He rushes out to her asking,"What's so bad now... are you gonna be okay?? "No..." exclaims the blonde,"I just received a call from my sister and she said that her mother died too!!"

I have one

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, she holds it up to the sockit and the world revolves around her.\

:D i am a smart blonde

Ooo! I have one. A blonde that is ALWAYS wearing headphones went into a barber shop. She sat down, the barber asked her to take her headphones off, she immediately said no and walked out of the barber shop. She found another barber shop in town, went in there. Instead of asking her to take her headphones off, he just took them off. When he took them off, she immediately started choking. Finally after she was quiet (still alive) they overheard the headphones saying "Breathe In, Breathe Out, Breathe In, Breathe Out"

A blonde dyed her hair to the color of a burnette because she wanted to seem smarter. One day she was driving down the road and saw a farmer. She said to him "if i can guess how man sheep you have can I have one?" He agreed. She guessed 150 and the farmer counted the sheep and she was right. As she was loading the sheep into the trunk the farmer said "if I can guess your real hair color can I have my dog back?"

A blonde recieved an assignment from her special ed. science teacher. The assignment was what will happen after you pull all of the legs off of a grasshopper. So the blonde says jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper jumped. So she pulled off one leg and said jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper jumped. So she does this until she got down to the last leg. So she pulled it off. Then she said jump grasshopper jump. And the grasshopper didn't jump. so she wrote down on her piece of paper.
"They lose their hearing"

A a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde walked into a room which contained a mirror inside. If you talked to the mirror and told a lie, it would stuck you up. If you told the truth, it would give you a wish.
The brunette went first. She said, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." And the mirror stucked her up.
Then the redhead went. She said, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world." And the mirror stucked her up.
So then the blonde went. She said, "I think-" And the mirror stucked her up.

All these jokes are really good, keep them coming please.

More!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There were three woman at an American college eating lunch. There was a Russian, American, and a Blonde. They were all bragging about their countries.
The Russian said," We were the first in space."
The American said," We were the first on the moon."
The Blonde said," Well, we will be the first on the sun."
The Russian said," You cannot do that or you will burn up!"
"Duh! We'll go at night." the Blonde replied.

There where these 3 blonde women that wanted to be policemen. So the blondes go into the police station for the job but first they have to pass a test. The first blonde goes in and the man asks her what she can tell about the suspect in the photo. (Note:The photo of the suspect is from the side.) So the blonde says "well he must be half blind since he only has one eye". The guy says no and that it is a side photo. So the next blonde comes in and says "well he must be hard of hearing because he only has 1 ear" The man says " no!!!, it is a side photo!!!!" So its the last blondes turn and she goes in there and looks at the photo. She says, "well, I believe that the suspect wears contacts. So the guy says, "well, I'm going to have to check on that". So he comes back and says "wow, how did you know the suspect wore contacts?" And the blonde replies, "well, it sure would be hard to buy glasses if you only have 1 eye and 1 ear"!

Why don't blondes know how to write the number "11"?
They don't know which "1" comes first!

Q:How does a blond kill a fish?
A:She drowns it

Ooo! i got a funny one (I think it is), it's Shaggy, Sean Paul and Britney Spears (a blonde)

Shaggy, Britney and Sean were in a limo and someone let out gas, who as it
Shaggy: It wasn't me!
Sean Paul: Dutty-Yo
Britney Spears: Oops I did it again!

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they find themselves in
financial
trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they
need
to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a distant town so they can
breed
their own stock.

They only have $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her
sister,
"When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to
drive
out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides
she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no
less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office,
and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've
bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup
truck
and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator say he'll be glad to help her, then adds,
"It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1.00 left.
She realizes she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After a
few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to send her
the word, "comfortable."

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know you want
her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul
that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll
read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bul.

LOL! I LOVE IT!

BUMPERS! Anyone else have a joke or something like that to post?

Bump Bump! Anyone else have anything to post?

that was funny!

that was funny!
I know! :rolleyes: lol. Thanks.

Bumpity bump!

Bump Bump!

I have one!!!!



One day a brunette, redhead, and a blonde where in an barn, looking around. It was not their barn, so when they heard someone coming they hid. The brunette hid behind a cow, the redhead hid behind a pig, and the blonde hid behind a sack of potatoes. When the person came into the barn, the brunette said Mooo Moo!! And the readhead said Oink Oink! And the blonde said: Potatoes, potatoes!!!!

LOL, I am a blonde, but I still think the jokes are funny.

I have a question though: You call brown haired people brunettes and red haired people redheads and blond haired people blondes, what do you call someone with black hair...?

How can you tell a blonde has been typing on your computer?
There is white out all over your screen.

How can you tell a blonde has been using your computer?
She left some cheese for the mouse!

Thanks GBShorts, for telling me those!

24-Hour Bump!

24-Hour Bump!

that made my day thanks