BasketballFarrah
03-06-2008, 02:00 AM
Hiya, been a while since I've posted! Anyways, we had to write a short story for my English class, and I was wondering what you thought of mine? I sort of based it off Twilight in a way, but not really, just the setting basically. Anyways, tell me what you think, thanks! (Ignore the underlining, we had to do that to mood words)
I didn’t know what to expect. I felt a rush of hopelessness and despair running down my spine from head to toe. I knew it was too late, and everything that kept me joyous was buried along with everything else that had mattered and made my life ecstatic. I had to run, run anywhere to keep me safe, at least for a little while. Instantly, I knew the forest was the only choice I had, since there was no big city where I had lived. Maybe, this would be the day that Forks would see the last of me.
While I ran, the depressing thoughts of my mother and father had me spinning. In just a moment, I became utterly regretful. I thought hard about how I had let them down, and how that could never change. I remembered the night before my father had been in an accident; the night I told him I hated him. I never cared to speak to my mother, I always thought of her as just a woman that was there, and I didn’t bother to notice how lithe and graceful she was. Shock and agony slowed me down, but I couldn’t stop when I knew that thing was after me.
I never cared for the relationship between my parents and I, and I never realized how caring they were, until they were gone. In my mind, I begged for them to come back, to save me from this nightmare that happened too quickly for my own, ignorant eyes. The more things I could remember that had disappointed them had only caused me more suffering. I realized how precious time was to me now, but all I could do was run through the forest, before I faced my own departure. I knew exactly what was after me, and all I knew, was that it was thirsty.
I knew this creature wasn’t sympathetic, and it had no intentions of letting me go. I remembered the day when it discovered me, and how I knew what it was. I was walking through a small street, and passed by a dark, mysterious alley. It was the night I told my parents I was moving out, and they couldn’t stop me. It was there, and did to a girl exactly what it would do to me today. I was about to run, but I couldn’t make my legs move, and stood in a dither. I watched in fear, and when it finished, it saw me. That was when I knew, that I would be the next victim.
Despite the fact that I was exhausted, I had to keep moving. It was when I stopped, that I knew I was in an open field of green grass and the rainy clouds above in the sky. There was nowhere else to run, but I didn’t know where the creature was. I slowly walked into the field, but nothing was there. There were no sounds of footsteps except of my own, and the cry of the wind. I looked deep into the oversized trees behind me, and nothing. I hoped that I would be safe here, and that my predator wouldn’t catch my scent. This, I knew, was what I deserved, and I had to suffer the end for my parents.
I heard a low growl, and turned my head to see it. The creature was beautiful and flawless, but I knew it was dangerous. I had heard of myths where the only way to destroy them, was to burn them. It started to approach me, with a smile flashing across its face. I found wood on the ground, and hurried to try to make a flame. I couldn’t get up, the most I could do was stay on my knees, which were shaking fiercely as my hands tried to make the flame with the two pieces of wood. The rain was only a light sprinkle now, so I could still have hope. In a second it was behind me, its cold, hard hands to my throat, thirsting for me. I couldn’t scream, and I couldn’t do anything. As its sharp teeth slowly approached my throat, the flame had started, and I dragged it across the beautiful creature’s face. It screamed so loud that I had to cover my ears so I wouldn’t have to suffer its pain. In only a few moments, the only thing left was ash on the ground.
I didn’t know what to expect. I felt a rush of hopelessness and despair running down my spine from head to toe. I knew it was too late, and everything that kept me joyous was buried along with everything else that had mattered and made my life ecstatic. I had to run, run anywhere to keep me safe, at least for a little while. Instantly, I knew the forest was the only choice I had, since there was no big city where I had lived. Maybe, this would be the day that Forks would see the last of me.
While I ran, the depressing thoughts of my mother and father had me spinning. In just a moment, I became utterly regretful. I thought hard about how I had let them down, and how that could never change. I remembered the night before my father had been in an accident; the night I told him I hated him. I never cared to speak to my mother, I always thought of her as just a woman that was there, and I didn’t bother to notice how lithe and graceful she was. Shock and agony slowed me down, but I couldn’t stop when I knew that thing was after me.
I never cared for the relationship between my parents and I, and I never realized how caring they were, until they were gone. In my mind, I begged for them to come back, to save me from this nightmare that happened too quickly for my own, ignorant eyes. The more things I could remember that had disappointed them had only caused me more suffering. I realized how precious time was to me now, but all I could do was run through the forest, before I faced my own departure. I knew exactly what was after me, and all I knew, was that it was thirsty.
I knew this creature wasn’t sympathetic, and it had no intentions of letting me go. I remembered the day when it discovered me, and how I knew what it was. I was walking through a small street, and passed by a dark, mysterious alley. It was the night I told my parents I was moving out, and they couldn’t stop me. It was there, and did to a girl exactly what it would do to me today. I was about to run, but I couldn’t make my legs move, and stood in a dither. I watched in fear, and when it finished, it saw me. That was when I knew, that I would be the next victim.
Despite the fact that I was exhausted, I had to keep moving. It was when I stopped, that I knew I was in an open field of green grass and the rainy clouds above in the sky. There was nowhere else to run, but I didn’t know where the creature was. I slowly walked into the field, but nothing was there. There were no sounds of footsteps except of my own, and the cry of the wind. I looked deep into the oversized trees behind me, and nothing. I hoped that I would be safe here, and that my predator wouldn’t catch my scent. This, I knew, was what I deserved, and I had to suffer the end for my parents.
I heard a low growl, and turned my head to see it. The creature was beautiful and flawless, but I knew it was dangerous. I had heard of myths where the only way to destroy them, was to burn them. It started to approach me, with a smile flashing across its face. I found wood on the ground, and hurried to try to make a flame. I couldn’t get up, the most I could do was stay on my knees, which were shaking fiercely as my hands tried to make the flame with the two pieces of wood. The rain was only a light sprinkle now, so I could still have hope. In a second it was behind me, its cold, hard hands to my throat, thirsting for me. I couldn’t scream, and I couldn’t do anything. As its sharp teeth slowly approached my throat, the flame had started, and I dragged it across the beautiful creature’s face. It screamed so loud that I had to cover my ears so I wouldn’t have to suffer its pain. In only a few moments, the only thing left was ash on the ground.