View Full Version : Carrie's Misfortune


sunnyskye
04-21-2007, 02:08 PM
Hey everyone, I don't usually write stories, but since my class finished our literature book, our teacher wanted us to write a short story. He said that the story had to have a surprise or clever ending. Well, I wrote one last night, and I think it is pretty good. Please tell me what you think! Sorry for the terrible spacing, the computer did it!



Carrie was in the 8th grade at her school. This was the last year of middle school, the
year where she would move on to high school. She had mixed emotions. She was sad, scared,

and happy. She was sad because she and her friends were going to separate high schools. They

were going on different roads, and she was not entirely sure if she

liked that idea. She was scared, because she was going to be a freshman, and who knows

what the Seniors would do to her. And she was happy, because the teacher

that she hated most was going to stay behind at Western, her current school. Now, Mrs.
Witcheta, (all of her students called her something a bit different) was the mean-
est teacher at that school. If you forgot to put your name on a paper, then she would make you

write your name on a piece of paper a 1000 times. If you got a 13/20 on your

Spelling test, she would make you write each word from the next list 100 times each. So, her
name was really fitting. Carrie feared her the most out of all the students, all
because of a single mistake made the very first day of school. Unfortunately, she remembers that

moment clearly.

It was the first day of school, Carrie's 8th grade year. Her first class was with Mrs.
Witcheta, who taught Social Studies. Carrie knew this was going to be a class she hated,
since Social Studies was her worst subject. Mrs. Witcheta handed out worksheets, and gave the

class half an hour to complete them all. Carrie got out her newly-sharpened

pencils, and set to work. After she finished the first worksheet, she started on the next one, and

broke her pencil in half. She had many more, so she decided to throw it

away. In all of her other classes, the teachers didn't care if she threw something into the trash, as

long as she picked up the things that had missed. So without thinking,

Carrie tossed the pieces of the pencil, aiming for the trash can. That was the biggest mistake she

would make that year. One piece hit the ground, while the piece with the tip
flew forward, towards Mrs. Witcheta's ice tea on her desk. The cup was still full, but empty

enough to be knocked over. And that is what the pencil hit. As if in slow

motion, Carrie watched in horror as the cup of ice tea fell over, and spilledd on Mrs. Witcheta's

skirt.
Mrs. Witcheta turned around quickly from the board, and stared at the
class. Carrie's face gave it away. Mrs. Witcheta sent Carrie out for the rest of the period, and

gave her two hours of detention.

Since then, Mrs. Witcheta has made her stay after school and clean up her room, write

her name a 1000 times, and write an essay on why missing so many spelling

words is not acceptable. That is why Carrie was so excited that she only had to deal with her for
one more month. The school she was going to for high school was called

East Side, and was no where near Mrs. Witcheta and her classroom of horror. Yes, she had
dreamed of the day when school was finally out...
The final bell of the school year sounded, and sounded triumphant this time. It was the
sound everyone wanted to hear, that seemed to shout, "School's out for

Summer! Get out of here and enjoy it!" And that is exactly what Carrie and her friends did. She

went to Florida for a week with her family and a close friend, hung out with

friends, went to the movies, went swimming, and even had an 8th grade Summer trip to King's

Island! She was having a blast! Summer seemed to fly by, and soon enough,

it was time for her and her friends to begin High School. Strangely, Carrie was excited, because

she got a fresh new start, and had not made any bad, and lasting
impressions on any teachers yet. Her first class was Math, her favorite subject. The book started

off easy, and Carrie enjoyed it, because after the easy stuff, comes

formulas and all that stuff. 9th grade had started off great! Her Math teacher was awesome, and
she had even met some new friends! She and her new friends walked to

Grammar together, and met their new teacher. He was pretty cool, his name was Mr.
Zacorowskee. The class thinks he is Swedish. Grammar was pretty fun with him. They got to
eat lunch with him, so at least they got a cool teacher to eat lunch with. After lunch the bell rang,

signaling for students to head to their next classes. Carrie picked up her
books and went towards Social Studies. She couldn't help but worry if her teacher would be mean
again. As she walked into the classroom, she noticed that her teacher was

already writing things on the board. Carrie thought that this teacher might want to get Social Studies over with just as much as Carrie did. Or maybe the teacher just had a lot to
write down, and their was going to be a lot of extra work. Carrie decided to stop thinking about
how much work this would be. She had a fresh start and a new teacher.
Being so excited with the new school year, Carrie realized that she still had her brown lunch bag
in her hand. So Carrie stood up a little to get a clear shot, and threw the
crumpled paper bag. Halfway towards the trash can, Carrie could already tell that she had thrown
the bag with terrible aim. She watched in horror as her paper bag flew
towards the new teacher, who was still writing on the board. Still flying, the brown bag zoomed at
full speed, right into the teacher's head. The teacher turned around,
showing her face to the class for the first time. Carrie's mouth dropped open. It
couldn't be
possible, but it had happened. Standing before the class was none other than
Mrs. Witcheta. Carrie had had enough, she already knew what Mrs. Witcheta was going to do. Carrie decided to save her the trouble and sent herself out in the hall.

BlueJalepeno
04-21-2007, 05:22 PM
It would have been better if you told the whole story from Carrie's point of view, instead of talking in 3rd person.

For example, story in 3rd person:
Carrie thought that this teacher might want to get Social Studies over with just as much as Carrie did. Or maybe the teacher just had a lot to
write down, and their was going to be a lot of extra work. Carrie decided to stop thinking about
how much work this would be.

And story from Carrie's point of view:
I think my teacher might just want to get Social Studies over with as much as I do. Maybe he just had a lot of work to write down, and there was going to be more work. But, I still don't think I should be wondering about how much work this is going to be.
__

Otherwise, nice story.

sunnyskye
04-21-2007, 05:24 PM
Thanks for the comments!